When Life Gives You Cancer

  Hello everyone, I'm back with another update on my ongoing battle against cancer, and what a journey it's been. Recently, I received a call from my doctor, and the urgency in his voice was palpable. Time was of the essence, and my medical situation remained frustratingly unclear. Before my hospitalization, I could still manage to move with the aid of a crutch. However, during those initial weeks in the hospital, something alarming occurred. The numbness in my leg, a constant companion, intensified to the point where I lost the ability to walk. Paralysis had become my reality, and it was a nightmare I had always feared. Living with paralysis is an indescribable challenge, both physically and emotionally. I spent nearly three weeks in the hospital, grappling with the reality of my situation. Each day was a battle against pain, uncertainty, and fear. The medical team conducted numerous blood tests and analyses, and then came the daunting news of yet another MRI. But here...

           What I'm about to share today might be worrisome for those who care about me as it is  disheartening for me . It's been half a year since I left Southeast Asia and returned to my home country in search of medical attention. Yet, despite five months passing since my surgery, I find myself still without treatment. I've poured thousands of dollars into tests, analyses, and scans, not to mention the myriad other expenses, and yet, I'm trapped in excruciating pain with no clear treatment plan in sight. The doctors are still grappling with the enigmatic nature of my illness, which is undeniably spreading throughout my bone marrow but remains elusive in my blood tests. To be honest, I don't fully comprehend the intricacies of how it all works, but I've entrusted them with my life and followed their guidance faithfully. However, as time marches on, hope begins to wane, and I'm confronted with the grim prospect of a slow and agonizing decline. The pa...

           I've always held onto a dream, one that painted me as a pivotal figure in the grand tapestry of life. I aspired to be the person others could turn to for help, support, and guidance towards brighter paths. And for a time, I lived that dream. But as I traveled and connected with people from diverse backgrounds, my ambitions grew. Today, my reality is far from that dream. I've become a burden to my family, a weight that cancer has cruelly placed upon my shoulders. It stripped me of my strength, replacing it with ceaseless pain and restless nights. I've become a prisoner in my own body, confined to a bed, unable to perform even the most basic of human activities. Every move is an agonizing struggle, a stark reminder of my limitations. I find myself in a constant state of reliance on others, a reality I never envisioned. The simplest tasks require assistance, and the independence I cherished has been cruelly stolen. As I lay here, I often find myself...

As I lie in bed, recounting my past, I'm taken back to the day I met my best friend, Ibtissam. The day we stood facing the beach, discussing my decision to embark on a new journey in Vietnam, shifting the course of my career and life. Her excitement matched mine, and she soon joined me in this adventure, just a month after my arrival in the vibrant Southeast Asian nation. This was a significant step for me, having already visited 8 countries before Vietnam. Fate led us both to a newly established company, freshly resuming operations post-COVID. Ibtissam and I were their first foreign English teachers, stationed in the city of Nam Dinh, about an hour and a half away from Hanoi, the capital. A promising beginning, our boss, full of zeal, pledged commitment to the growth of the company, and I echoed that promise, fully dedicated to my role. However, as life often unfolds, challenges emerged from an unexpected corner. A quirky blend of charisma, seriousness, and self-esteem, wh...

In the quiet of the evening, just a couple of days ago, an overwhelming surge of pain engulfed my bones and muscles. The sensation was akin to being continuously pierced by countless knives, an agony that seemed to have no respite. As the night deepened, the pain intensified, reaching a point where even my heart joined the torment, making each breath an arduous battle. A relentless ache coursed through my body, mingling with the struggle for every breath, and a crushing pain in my chest that seemed to hint at an end. Throughout that night, my neck's discomfort escalated, almost as if it were threatening to snap, rendering me incapable of moving my head without cradling it in my hands. My family was gripped by panic, their faces reflecting the same anguish that was coursing through my body. Yet, despite the potent painkillers and medications I had at my disposal, that night seemed immune to their soothing effects. In the darkness, I found myself silently beseeching Allah for ...

        In the depths of my cancer battle, I've always been the type to retreat into solitude when faced with a problem. I'm inclined to bottle up my emotions and disappear until I've sorted things out on my own. Asking for help has never come naturally to me. But this time, the challenges are numerous, and the need for assistance is greater than I could have ever imagined. It took the encouragement of my dearest friends to push me towards creating a fundraising campaign for my cancer treatment. The decision wasn't made lightly, considering how uncomfortable I am with seeking help. To date, only a handful of people know about my ongoing struggle with cancer. After getting the campaign approved on the fundraising website, I mulled it over once more before sharing it with close friends and some acquaintances I believed might offer their support or kind words. I shared it as an Instagram story late at night, then closed the application, uncertain of what the response mi...